I questioned the point of my existence today. I did not feel like I was doing anything that mattered. I felt insignificant. I also felt exhausted – tired of always being the one to reach out to others. However, I believe this quality is a great part of who I am. Maybe it was a part of who I was, and I suppose I am tired of being my old self. This led me to go back to my previous blog posts and read what I have been feeling for the past few years, and it became clear to me. I just needed inspiration.
When I’m outside, I make it to a point that I look above at the moon and the stars. Being under the night sky with the stars overhead and realizing that I am only a small part of the universe, and there are still so much that I don’t know about. For some reason, this makes me feel more alive for many reasons. It fuels my curiosity because there are a lot of things that I can still learn about. Each time, I’m more thankful for my existence than the moments before looking up. Sometimes I forget the magnitude of my problems is so much smaller compared to the universe and get caught up in my own world, in my problems. As a reminder to myself for the times I’m feeling uninspired, I decided to start a new blog to help with and to track my growth. I want to be able to see the problems I overcame to tell myself that if I survived something like that, then I can live through another. Also to be reminded that sometimes things present themselves as huge problems at the time, and sometimes they are not really a big deal. However, they still serve some purpose.
I guess it’s all a matter of perspective. When we look down on the ground and there are a lot of things and creatures smaller than us, making us feel much bigger than we really are. By looking up and around we can get a new perspective on the world and of ourselves.