I don’t quite believe in romance the way that I used to. I have learned a lot of things the past year that made me realize that I have been so fortunate to not have been exposed to many of the horrible things in this world. I lost my faith in humanity… I lost faith in love and became devastated because I saw how my generation is changing the future of relationships, and I cannot keep up. The technological age changed the way relationships work a lot more than I originally believed. Meeting someone and getting to know them in person seems to be too old-fashioned nowadays, making it difficult for hopeless romantics like me. Thus, I now believe that I only have a 1% chance in finding love (if I’m lucky).
It has been almost two years since we officially met. You were captivating and I thought that you were the one (but now I know that was silly of me). When I wrote that entry, I was hopeful that our budding friendship would turn into something. Yet, I was trying to prevent myself from getting hurt so I began convincing myself that just having you as a friend would be enough. There were a lot of things that happened in between, but long story short I ended getting my heart broken. Reality really did a poor job of meeting my expectations… Despite having a period where I really hated you and just wanted to get away from you (which was impossible… it was hard trying to bottle up all that hate and frustration when you constantly talked to me), we somehow stayed friends and even became the best of friends.
It’s funny how I wrote “In my hopeless romantic world, it would be you and me, once we are ready to settle down.” Now we joke about being each other’s back ups (I really do hope that will not be the case). However, I am not going to lie and say that the possibility of you and I ending up together does not cross my mind. When you suggested that, naturally I blushed a little… and all the other times that you repeated it. That foolish girl who believes in love and fate still resides deep inside of me. Although you are one of the reasons I lost my faith in love and humanity, I am still very grateful to have a friend like you coming into my life. Our relationship is so unique and it’s something that I will treasure forever.
We’re both starting a new chapter in our lives. I wonder if our friendship will stand the test of time and distance… I pray it does. My faith in love may be lost, but I still believe that friendships can last forever. I hope it does not turn out to be another one of the “silly things” that I once believed to be true.
P.S. Still kinda hoping that my Prince Charming will turn up soon.