by hera

It has been a struggle since the day we found out we were going to lose you. I tried to get rid of unpleasant thoughts by distancing myself from anyone who talked about you and avoiding places that reminded me of you. It’s not that I wanted to forget you, but I just wanted to erase all the memories with you suffering. The last three and a half years have been filled with high and lows. There were big moments filled with so much happiness instantly turn gloomy because you’re not here to be a part of it. It’s hard to imagine that there is something that can cause greater misery than the moment we lost you, except the times when I wake up only to realize that not having you around is my new reality. When we lost you, the meaning of family was lost to me. There was no place I can call home and my life started to fall apart. My dreams were shattered and I had to pick up the pieces. I refrain from having fun and making mistakes because I know that when I start to feel lost I do not have someone to come to for guidance.

I miss you everyday.